Plotter Holes

This list is in response to Harry’s sheer awe when he steps inside the tent at the Quiddich World Cup, and it is much bigger than he anticipated. Our point being…it’s just a regular old magic tent Harry. Pull it together.

1. Time travel (including saving his own life when he goes back in time)

2. Space travel (floo network, portkeys, flying on broom, flying in a regular car)

3. Voldemort living on the back of Quirrell’s head

4. Dementors (floating skeletons who can literally suck the soul out of a person)

5. Talking to snakes

6. Phoenix healing tears (which he sees after stabbing a giant monster basilisk that’s been living in a secret chamber in the bowels of his school)

7. Ghosts

8. A variety of magical creatures (unicorns, hippogriffs, trolls, werewolves, etc)

9. Animagi (he watched McGonagall turn from a cat into a person, Peter Pettigew from a rat to a person, and Sirius Black from a dog to a person. Meaning any animal could actually be a person, at any time.)

10. Divination

11. Food that appears out of thin air

12. Turning an animal into a water goblet

13. The Leg-locker curse (yes. even this one.)

So, you guys would agree that Hogwarts is pretty big, right? Multiple buildings with lots of rooms, spread out across a vast estate with no one around for miles? Every professor gets their own, 3 story office (that very likely comes at least partially furnished) that they’re likely only in a few hours a day (cause they teach class in classrooms, of course!). So many rooms that there are entire floors that are off-limits to students. That there is the constant fear of getting lost due to there being just SO. MANY. ROOMS.

How is it, that even with all of the rooms in the world at their disposal…the interior designer shoved 50 beds into 1 room and called it the hospital? With the amount of horrific injuries, curses gone awry, joke magic objects that purposefully cause illnesses, accidents with magical creatures etc…you’d THINK they would invest in some private hospital rooms for these poor children who are really just there to learn.

It would also give the teachers more space to have private, top secret conversations without being overheard by every child who happens to be in the hospital room at the time, because those always seem to happen in the 1 room hospital as well.

It’s not a plotterhole. It’s just fucked up.

Yeah right. How did that kid know that? It’s just jumbling around in the closed closet and Lupin is like, “Anyone venture a guess what’s in here?” Immediately that kid claps back with 100% certainty, “that’s a boggart, that is.” From the occasional rumbling? That could have been anything! ANYTHING! Okay maybe somehow it rumbled like a boggart, which is a big stretch, but even then how could that kid be so fucking certain? He’s a third year. A THIRD year, people. You want me to believe a third year hears some rumbling in a closet and knows without a shred of doubt it’s a boggart?!?! I’m not buying it. Strike one, two and three, you’re out.

In The Sorcerer’s Stone – so Prof Quirrell had a whole life before Voldemort attached himself to the back of his head. He had friends, hobbies, probably went to brunch a few times. Then, all of a sudden, he started stuttering and wearing a turban. Were all his friends and family just, like, cool with it? Like “Classic Quirrell! Always changing things up! Keeping things fresh!” Doesn’t add up.

In the Deathly Hallows Part 1 … Really? No one could recognize Harry after Hermione used the Stinging Curse on him to disguise him from the Snatchers? No one? Really? He basically just looks like he’s winking and is recovering from a rough night out. Bellatrix. Come on girl. Who else in the WORLD could be the third teenager captured with Hermione and Ron. Use your deductive reasoning skills. Or your eyes. Just use your eyes. Wizards, man. Lots of powers, but not too much going on in the ole brains department.

In the Deathly Hallows Part 1, when Hermione obliviates her parents, the question remains – what about all of her parents friends? When they all attend their next dinner party, book club meeting or social function, aren’t their friends gonna be like, “so how’s Hermione?” And then the Grangers are gonna be like “……….who?” And everyone else is gonna be like “what do you mean, who? Your daughter. Hermione.” And then they’re gonna be like “we don’t have a daughter.” And everyone’s gonna be like “……ok?”

Harry sectum sempras Malfoy in the bathroom and almost kills him if Snape hadn’t been right there. Where’s the repercussions for this? I mean, where’s the Justice? I know you’re the chosen one but ya can’t just go killing people. That’s what Voldemort did and we all know what happened there. Sad.

In the Sorcerer’s Stone, while waiting for the Hogwarts Express, Hagrid leaves Harry at the train station, saying that he needs to get back and see Dumbledore. Why not just get on the fucking train? It’s making a beeline back to Hogwarts. Directly to Dumbledore.

6 — Advanced potions making the living death brew. It feels more like the current textbook is just inaccurate or wrong, than Harry’s Half-Blood Prince copy has some special revelation. I mean, fucking crush it. Don’t cut it right? How can you call yourself a potions professor you jerk.