Plotter Holes

Yeah right. How did that kid know that? It’s just jumbling around in the closed closet and Lupin is like, “Anyone venture a guess what’s in here?” Immediately that kid claps back with 100% certainty, “that’s a boggart, that is.” From the occasional rumbling? That could have been anything! ANYTHING! Okay maybe somehow it rumbled like a boggart, which is a big stretch, but even then how could that kid be so fucking certain? He’s a third year. A THIRD year, people. You want me to believe a third year hears some rumbling in a closet and knows without a shred of doubt it’s a boggart?!?! I’m not buying it. Strike one, two and three, you’re out.

In The Sorcerer’s Stone – so Prof Quirrell had a whole life before Voldemort attached himself to the back of his head. He had friends, hobbies, probably went to brunch a few times. Then, all of a sudden, he started stuttering and wearing a turban. Were all his friends and family just, like, cool with it? Like “Classic Quirrell! Always changing things up! Keeping things fresh!” Doesn’t add up.

In the Deathly Hallows Part 1 … Really? No one could recognize Harry after Hermione used the Stinging Curse on him to disguise him from the Snatchers? No one? Really? He basically just looks like he’s winking and is recovering from a rough night out. Bellatrix. Come on girl. Who else in the WORLD could be the third teenager captured with Hermione and Ron. Use your deductive reasoning skills. Or your eyes. Just use your eyes. Wizards, man. Lots of powers, but not too much going on in the ole brains department.

In the Deathly Hallows Part 1, when Hermione obliviates her parents, the question remains – what about all of her parents friends? When they all attend their next dinner party, book club meeting or social function, aren’t their friends gonna be like, “so how’s Hermione?” And then the Grangers are gonna be like “……….who?” And everyone else is gonna be like “what do you mean, who? Your daughter. Hermione.” And then they’re gonna be like “we don’t have a daughter.” And everyone’s gonna be like “……ok?”

Harry sectum sempras Malfoy in the bathroom and almost kills him if Snape hadn’t been right there. Where’s the repercussions for this? I mean, where’s the Justice? I know you’re the chosen one but ya can’t just go killing people. That’s what Voldemort did and we all know what happened there. Sad.

In the Sorcerer’s Stone, while waiting for the Hogwarts Express, Hagrid leaves Harry at the train station, saying that he needs to get back and see Dumbledore. Why not just get on the fucking train? It’s making a beeline back to Hogwarts. Directly to Dumbledore.

6 — Advanced potions making the living death brew. It feels more like the current textbook is just inaccurate or wrong, than Harry’s Half-Blood Prince copy has some special revelation. I mean, fucking crush it. Don’t cut it right? How can you call yourself a potions professor you jerk.